PALIN MITENK BLOG

By Emily Andrews

On the up: The Harmony bra, made by luxury brand Panache and on sale for £25, will be the first range to offer a KK cup


First came the K cup for those ladies needing a little extra support.

And now the KK bra is to be introduced on to the High Street to cope with women's increasing bust sizes.

The bras - which have been dubbed 'wind socks' because of their 20in cups - were previously only available from specialist retailers.

They would be too big even for glamour model Jordan, whose breasts peaked at 32FF before she had reduction surgery.

But they still wouldn't be large enough for 27-year-old Donna Jones, from Milton Keynes, who claims to have Britain's biggest breasts, sized 40M. Debenhams - whose 'fuller bust range', defined as a D cup and above, accounts for 60 per cent of its lingerie sales - is to stock the Harmony bra, made by luxury brand Panache.

It is on sale for £25 in the store's Oxford Street branch in London, and is available in black, white and nude.

Spokesman Ruth Attridge said: 'We have seen demand for larger bra sizes soar. More women are being measured and most tend to go up two cup sizes as they have been buying bras that are too small.

'Also in our city stores we've seen ladies with larger busts due to the popularity of cosmetic surgery. Often when they're measured they have a bigger cup size than they think due to the implants being measured by weight and not cup size.

'Many of our fitters have reported that ladies have been surprised at being bigger than they had asked their surgeons for. We also see many more teenagers with larger breasts, perhaps due to the pill or better nourishment.'

The most popular bra size in the UK is a 36D, up from a 34B ten years ago.

Dr Joanna Scurr, a lecturer in biomechanicsat Portsmouth University, said: 'I'm delighted we're seeing KK cups on the High Street, as so many women say they struggle to find a size big enough in the shops. Breasts are getting bigger but it's not just because we're getting heavier.

'We found an increase in the size of the average bosom, not just in women who are fat. We don't yet know the reason but it has certainly made women much more aware of the need for correct support.'

Previously, the largest bra size on the High Street was the K cup, which was introduced by Selfridges in March, and the J cup, stocked by Marks & Spencer from 2007


source: dailymail

By Martin Lewis

Preen Satin Dress, £319: Matchesfashion.com, £780: Harvey Nichols, High Street hike = £461 = 145 per cent


We could be paying up to 70 per cent more for goods in store rather than on the internet, says pricerunner.co.uk, a shopping comparison website.

Now we've done our own research - and, as MARTIN LEWIS from moneysavingexpert. com reveals, the results will amaze you...

To run a store on the High Street, you have to have a building in a town centre, a shopfront, goods that are priced and labelled, and staff to sell them. But if you run a web store all you need is a warehouse, a phone and the internet.

That means overheads are much lower, particularly if you charge your customers the cost of delivery.

The web is great for items like CDs and books that are the same wherever you get them - a Dan Brown novel is a Dan Brown novel, whether you get it on the internet or in town.

There are some great electrical deals online, but most people want to see their 40in TV before they buy it. Get around this by visiting a store, but buying online afterwards.

The web is less competitive when it comes to clothes because these are things that people want to try on. But when shopping online you have more rights. If you buy a dress in store without trying it on and it doesn't fit, it is within the rights of a shop not to allow you a refund.

But under distance-selling regulations, if you order the same item online you are legally allowed to return it and get your money back within the first seven days.

The web is cheaper for virtually everything. Remember to use price-comparison sites to get the best deal.





































source: dailymail

By Jenni Murray

Slave to technology: Jenni's BlackBerry must be by her bedside to recharge, give her messages and wake her up


To the untrained eye, it might appear we are witnessing an outbreak of unprecedented sexual liberation in the homes of the rich and famous.

Last week, I read with goggle eyes the admission by TV presenter Amanda Holden that there's always a three-way love-in in her bed. Then came the news that Barack Obama and his wife make room in their marriage for a third party, too.

Closer inspection reveals this is not some kind of saucy re-tread of Abigail's Party, but actually evidence of technology reaching into the most intimate corners of our lives: for they are all talking about their BlackBerry handheld computers

Now, there are many people who would traduce such miraculous machines, and offer dire warnings that they could spell the end to human interaction, not to mention putting marriages at risk, especially when they are taken to bed at night and pored over like some precious newborn babe.

But, quite honestly, my immediate reaction was: 'Doesn't everybody do it?'

Where else would you keep your precious electronic pet which needs to be nurtured throughout the night?

That's why my BlackBerry sits by my bed every night slurping in the electricity, to be sure of giving me perfect service the next day. And just like a baby, its every squeak must be attended to.

It might be the little alert it sounds when you get a text message, or a call from the son in Australia who desperately needs funds transferring from one bank account to another.

Or it could be the other son who's spending a year in France and might be in trouble, needing maternal assistance right now!

It could be someone asking you, even at a late hour, to do some work. Or it might just be the alarm going off in the morning to wake you. It serves so many purposes.

Him indoors thinks my passion for this little gadget verges on lunacy. I think he's jealous, as I tend to communicate with it rather more than I do with him.

His face takes on a stony demeanour when I sneak a peek after the little red light has warned me I have an email during dinner. But, frankly, he only has himself to blame.

I was once a technological Luddite, going along with the then editor of Newsnight in the late Eighties who became so frustrated with the new computers that had been installed in the office, he tore out all the plugs and re-introduced the typewriter.


Gadget fan: Jenni admits she feels lost without her BlackBerry

But my partner, David, insisted. He's an electronics engineer and computer genius. It was ridiculous to resist the march of technology, he warned, then bought me my first laptop. And, slowly, I was seduced.

In the years that followed, into my possession came not one but two computers, then a mobile and then, oh heaven, the Blackberry.

It's instant communication, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, doing exactly what we women like doing best, chatting to our friends.

All of which explains why the worst thing that's happened in my recent history was losing this miracle gadget.

You see, it contains all the information I need to negotiate my life. Contacts, notes and the codes for picking up train tickets. And that's how I lost it at a station.

I was in such a kerfuffle that I must have left it on the ticket machine. I'd planned to edit an article on it while travelling (so useful!). When I got on the train, I fumbled in my bag and my heart could not have sunk further when I couldn't find it.

I borrowed someone else's BlackBerry to call David, sobbing with despair. 'Ah,' he said, with more glee than I felt was decent, 'I gather you've lost your phone'.

It turned out someone wonderful and honest had found it, called 'home' in the contacts list to inform us, and taken it to lost property. That man restored my faith in human nature, but how I missed my little friend for the whole week it was away.

I know I'm not alone in this obsession. Nor do I deny that tinkering with a BlackBerry incessantly in the bedroom may be a barrier to communication - of all kinds - with the person to whom you're close enough to have a real conversation.

I have, I confess, been irritated by a friend whose new boyfriend texted and called her repeatedly during an all-girl dinner of ours. She didn't ignore him, even though we hinted she should. But then, reader, she married him.

And now they do talk, face-to-face, thanks to the BlackBerry. So there.


source: dailymail

By Daily Mail Reporter

Trendy toddler: Three-year-old Suri Cruise wears high heels and lipstick like mother Katie Holmes


You'd be unlikely to see three-year-old fashionista Suri Cruise wearing anything twice.

Now the same looks set to be true for the average British child, as a new survey has revealed that parents are spending more than £700 on childrenswear every year.

The poll of 1,500 parents by Debenhams found that an average of £357 was spent on clothing per child each season.

The figure rose to £427 per child per season for daughters thanks to the availability of 'mini-me' items such as jeggings and blazers for young girls.

The retailer found that celebrity children, like the high heel and lipstick-wearing daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, were inspiring the purchase of trend-led childrenswear.

Parents admitted to buying an average of seven dresses and five pairs of shoes for their daughters per season, while boys are treated to an average of ten new t-shirts and five pairs of jeans every six months.

Seventy-four per cent of fathers said they always bought sons their football team’s latest strip, as well as the national England kit, while over half of parents of daughters said they considered fashion as important as functionality in picking new outfits.

Sixty-three per cent of parents said they didn’t need an occasion to buy their child a new outfit, and 45 per cent shop for new childrenswear at least once a fortnight.

In contrast with earlier generations, 57 per cent of parents said they wouldn’t dress children in hand-me-downs if they could afford new clothes.

Kate Liszka, head of Childrenswear at Debenhams said: 'Brits are famed for a competitive neighbourly streak. Now it seems that where our kids are concerned, we're keeping up with the Cruises!


Keeping up with the kids: Stylish celebrity children like Violet Affleck (left) and Harlow Madden (right) are inspiring parents to buy trend-led childrenswear


A-list parents can afford to dress their children in the latest looks. Left, Gwen Stefani's son Kingston Rossdale, right Romeo Beckham


Nicole Kidman's daughter Sunday-Rose, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's daughter Violet, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daughter Shiloh all polled highly.

Also in the top ten were Gwen Stefani's son Kingston, Nicole Ritchie's daughter Harlow and Beckham boys Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Suri Cruise was by far the clear winner, however, with over 50 per cent of votes.


source: dailymail

By Kate Loveys

Disastrous: Cheap Ugg replicas are causing significant foot problems in the young women who wear them


Squeezing into killer heels, many women are happy to endure a little pain in the name of fashion.

But medical experts have warned that the trend for cheap Ugg boots is a price too high to pay.

They have said that knock-off versions of the designer boots are crippling a generation of young women, 'literally breaking' their feet.

With just six months of wear women could saddle themselves with a lifetime of foot deformities, backache and pain in their feet.

And a phrase has even been coined for the gait of devoted wearers - the Ugg 'shuffle' - which describes the lopsided, pigeon-toed way in which cheap versions of the boots force women to walk.

Top brand Ugg Australia boots, which cost from £150, are worn by celebrities including Kate Moss and Cameron Diaz, sparking a craze for the flat, furry generic boots.

But low-cost imitations often provide inadequate foot support.

With each step the wearer's feet slide around. This can cause the feet to splay which flattens the foot arch and leads to wear and tear on the joints in the feet, knees, hips and back.

As a result leading podiatrist and chiropodists have seen a stark rise in the number of women suffering toe deformities, backache and pain in their feet.

They have expressed their concern and warned against children wearing the unsupported boots as their feet are still forming, increasing the risk of long-term damage.

Dr Ian Drysdale, head of the British College of Osteopathic Medicine, said: 'Because these boots are warm and soft, young girls think they are giving their feet a break. In fact, they are literally breaking their feet.

'Their feet are slipping around inside. With each step, the force falls towards the inside of the foot and the feet splay. This flattens the arch and makes it drop.
'The result can be significant problems with the foot, the ankle, and ultimately, the hip.'


Ugg-ly truth: Celebrities including Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Moss wear the £150 boots, sparking the manufacture of replica Uggs for fans keen to imitate the look


Putting the boot in: Sienna Miller and Lily Allen are both fans of Ugg Australia


Consultant podiatric surgeon Mike O'Neill called the cheap Uggs 'disastrous'.

'As the foot slides around, you get wear and tear on the joints on the inside of the foot. The ankle is in the wrong position, the thigh bone also changes position and you get an abnormal movement in the pelvis, which leads to back problems.'

However he agreed that cheap Uggs are fine to wear at home, but not for walking long distances.

While there is often little to visibly distinguish a well-made pair of boots from a badly made pair, even brand leader Ugg Australia admits its boots are 'comfort' not 'performance footwear' and that buyers should be aware of 'knock-offs' which lack reinforced heels or insoles of their boots.'


source: dailymail

By Angela Carless

His 'h' hers: Jan and Gabrielle Henning have found the perfect way to have a life together... by living apart


Sick of picking up your husband's socks or bickering over the washing up? Gabrielle and Jan Henning may well have hit upon the perfect solution for battling spouses - living next door to each other. Here, the pair, who are both 57 and have been married for 36 years, explain their unusual set-up to ANGELA CARLESS...

THE WIFE SAYS...

Every morning, my husband Jan brings me tea and toast in bed. We chat about the day ahead before I give him a lift to the school where he works, en route to the college where I teach art.

At the end of the working day, we'll often go shopping together and on Saturdays we make a habit of going for lunch.

I'm sure many married couples follow a similar domestic routine - but I'm certain our living arrangements differ hugely. For Jan and I don't share the same bed, or even the same house - he lives in a separate house next door. We have lived in mirror-image adjoining houses for the past ten years.

We have our own bedrooms, our own bathrooms, kitchens and living rooms behind our own front doors. We also have our own gardens separated by a fence, over which we chat. To my mind, we have the best of both worlds: separate lives and yet the trust and companionship of marriage.

To be honest, I think we've hit on an arrangement that most women secretly wish for, sick of the squabbling over the washing-up or their husband's shavings in the sink.

Having separate houses puts paid to all that, but it also means that when we're together it's because we like each other's company, not out of habit or because we're forced to exist under the same roof. We appreciate and respect each other a lot more.

Our once-traditional marriage has evolved into a very modern relationship where we are effectively married singletons, but remain wholly committed to each other.

Although I love my husband and he makes a great next-door neighbour, there's no way I want to live with him.

Admittedly, this isn't the way I imagined things would turn out when we married in September 1973, after meeting at art school three years earlier. Then, like all other newlyweds, we were excited about living together.

When we bought our first home - the spacious three-bedroom semi where I still live - we spent years making it comfortable. We did the place up and over the years I filled it with carefully selected artwork and ceramics.

Sadly, we weren't able to have children, so we concentrated on each other. I was happy to do the cooking and cleaning, and although we both had careers in teaching, Jan had a more senior position and was the main breadwinner.

But that all changed when he was made redundant in 1997. Without his job, Jan's perception of who he was in relation to me changed, and he became deeply unhappy.

Though I tried to comfort him, he'd pull away. A gulf developed between us.


Hers: Gabrielle's place has collectibles everywhere

Jan started going out at night drinking and not coming home. I felt he treated me like a doormat and eventually I asked him to leave. He found a rented house ten miles away, and although it was sad, it was also a relief that he'd gone.

I consulted a solicitor about a divorce, thinking our marriage was over. But Jan, who eventually found another teaching job, ignored the divorce papers sent to him and I didn't push it because I saw how unhappy he was alone.

We had very different experiences living apart. He'd imagined he would suddenly develop an active social life, but instead our friends sided with me and I relished my new-found independence.

More than that, I liked having the bed to myself and inviting my friends round whenever I wanted. As a nonsmoker, I liked not having Jan smoke in the house nor having to put up with him watching blaring, violent action films.

Yet part of me did feel a sadness at being alone. I still liked the idea of marriage and did want to meet someone, but although I once plucked up the courage to reply to a lonely hearts ad in the local paper, my date turned out to be awful.

Jan had enormous flaws, yet I realised there was still a deep connection between us.
In time, my anger towards him mellowed. As the months passed, he appeared very contrite, sad and vulnerable. I missed the culture of our marriage, the things we'd shared. I especially missed our holidays, drinking coffee in small cafés in the South of France and wandering round Italian art galleries together. It wasn't the same holidaying with friends.

I knew Jan regretted his behaviour and after 18 months he asked to move back in with me. It posed a huge dilemma, as although I wanted us to get back together, I didn't really want to live with him again.

Eventually, a solution presented itself when the house next door came up for sale at the end of 1999. It was Jan who first said he fancied moving in.

At first, I wasn't so sure it was a good idea, but as we were still financially bound together with joint ownership of the marital home, I could not deny him the right to take some equity from the house in order to buy a place of his own.

He was adamant that he had changed and that he wouldn't bother me all the time. My friends were stunned when I agreed. They knew how devastated I had been by Jan's behaviour before he left, and they had seen me make a new life for myself. Clearly, they worried I would get hurt again and could not understand why I would want him so close.


His: Jan prefers a more minimalist look

But the new Jan had a very different outlook on life. All the negativity and criticism was gone. Instead, I appreciated the positive aspects - he's intensely practical and had always loved DIY and working on our home, so he relished having a renovation project again.

He asked my advice on decor, but the interior he created couldn't be more different from mine. My home was filled with my artwork and the deliberately kitsch items we'd collected over 25 years, which made it appear quite busy and crowded.

It made me realise that the way we'd decorated our previous home hadn't reflected his taste at all. Far from all the clutter I've filled my home with, he has gone for a far more pared-down, minimalist look.

If I'm honest, he has shown fantastic taste and in many ways his house is nicer inside than mine. In particular, he knocked down a wall to create a new, much bigger kitchen, which I envy.

Previously, Jan had never cooked, but now he began inviting me round to eat with him, complete with candles on the table. Afterwards, I'd go home and leave him to the washing-up - a treat indeed. I began cooking Sunday lunch for him and found him more appreciative than before. He was so happy to be back close to me, it was as if a black cloud had lifted.

What's more, if anything needed doing in my house, he was straight round to do it willingly, whereas before I might have had to nag him. And he knew he couldn't light up in my house, because I had the power to tell him not to after all those years of having to put up with his smoking.

I can't pretend it wasn't without its teething problems. Jan didn't like the fact that I had lots of people coming to my house to socialise from the theatre group I'm involved with, and would watch them come up the path from his front window.

On one occasion we were playing music and chatting when all of a sudden I heard banging on the wall - it was Jan trying to say it was too loud.

At first, I felt embarrassed, but he still does it now and I just laugh it off because he can be so miserable at times. Then there have been other occasions when he's spotted a male friend visiting and asked me about him the next day, jealousy written all over his face.

Gradually, however, we re-invented our own version of married life with a different kind of love which, for me, runs deeper than ever before. It doesn't rely on being constrained or tied down - instead, we have freedom that means we stay faithful and spend time together because we want to, not because we feel obliged.

I would go so far as to say that our living arrangements have given us the perfect marriage. He's there when I need practical help, he's a great companion and because we each make the rules in our own houses, there is no tension.

Although we do not have a conventional relationship, there is still romance in our lives and huge affection. Though neither of us sleeps over at each other's houses, we do share a room when we go on holiday and I love the fact I have my husband back to go travelling with.

While there is still passion, things do change as you get older - whether you live together or not - and sex is less important. Being with someone who is on the same wavelength and who you love, trust and respect is much more the mainstay of a long marriage. He's a good man, who I know is on my side, and I'm so glad we did not divorce.

Our marriage was worth saving and we just needed space. Although it would be cheaper to live together, living apart is what works best for us and yes, I would recommend it.

I strongly believe that when a marriage no longer fits into the expected pattern, it seems sensible to change and invent new ways of living together, rather than simply rush into a divorce.


Director Tim Burton and his actress wife Helena Bonham-Carter have a similar arrangement to the Hennings


THE HUSBAND SAYS...

Many married couples will baulk at our unconventional set-up but, as Gabrielle says, over the past ten years it has developed into the ideal arrangement. We have a much more harmonious relationship than when we lived together. I don't have to put up with her nagging about my smoking nor the fact that she is much more untidy than me.

Most importantly, living next door has enabled me to save our marriage, which otherwise might have ended in divorce.

Gabrielle was my first real girlfriend and I was so proud when she became my wife. But over the years, we had our ups and downs and being made redundant made me push her away.

Though I never stopped loving Gabrielle, our relationship had become destructive. I needed time and space to work things out, but I didn't want to be divorced, and when the papers arrived from the solicitor I didn't even open them.

I quickly regretted the way I had been so callous towards Gabrielle. I missed her companionship, I missed being able to support her, and I missed her emotionally. It was horrible not being able to do things and go places with her any more.

But when I wanted to move back in, she didn't want me - she liked having her own place. Ideally, I wanted to live together as before, but living next door was the next best thing.

I was deeply sorry for any pain I'd caused and was determined to be a much better husband second time around - if she'd let me. It's true, I never cooked before and left it all to Gabrielle. But now I get huge pleasure from making her a nice meal or going out to the theatre with her.

We always spend Christmas, anniversaries and birthdays together, and I do my best to buy her a nice present - probably making more effort to please her than I did before.

I especially love going on holiday with her and we go away together more often than we did before. It is nice to share a room with Gabrielle again and it feels very natural.

But I must admit, keeping our own households does suit us both. While I admit Gabrielle's house has character, I like less clutter and prefer a more minimalist look, with more things put away in cupboard.

For instance, I won't have anything plastic on show in my bathroom - shampoo bottles, toiletries, things like that. But Gabrielle's bathroom is full of coloured bottles. I much prefer my sparse interior.

Our homes do reflect our personalities. She's such a social animal and I'm a bit of a recluse, so although she asks me to parties at her house, I rarely go.

And I have to admit that once or twice when she's had a garden party which goes on until dawn, I'll shout over the fence to ask her to keep the noise down, and I do bang on the wall, too.

But it's all in good spirit. I never want to fall out with my neighbour, as I know I'll never find a better one - nor a better wife.

As for me, I'm a good neighbour. I'm quiet and when Gabrielle's lawn needs mowing I'll jump over the fence and take care of it.

Our living arrangements are not something I've ever discussed with people, so I'm not sure what other men would think, but this way does seem to work for us.

There's no doubt we get on much better than we used to. So what more proof could you ask for?


source: dailymail

The win comes after Les and Sam Scadding and a syndicate from Liverpool each took home £45.5million jackpots in November last year


A lucky UK ticket holder has not yet come forward to claim a £26.1million prize after sharing the Euromillions jackpot with another ticket holder in France.

The £26,151,124.20 winning amount from last night's draw is the fourth biggest Euromillions prize in British lottery history.

It comes after Les and Sam Scadding from South Wales and a syndicate from Liverpool each took home £45.5 million jackpots in November last year.

The latest winning UK ticket has the numbers 11, 26, 29, 49, and 50.

A National Lottery spokesman said today: 'We are delighted to have another huge Euromillions winner here in the UK, following so closely to last November's record breaking jackpot winners.

'We have plenty of champagne on ice and look forward to welcoming the ticket holder into the millionaires' club.

'Over 2,350 people have become a millionaire across the 15 years of the National Lottery and players have, to date, raised a massive £24 billion for good causes.'

The ticket holder was being advised to call the National Lottery Line on 0845 910 0000 to register a claim.

A National Lottery winners adviser will then liaise with the winner and, subject to validation, the prize could be paid out when the banks open on Monday.

The winner could then decide whether or not to go public with their news.

The second-largest prize of £35.4million was won by Angela Kelly, of Glasgow, in August 2007.

The third highest winner, who collected £26.5million, also in August 2007, opted to remain anonymous.


source: dailymail

Celebrity fans: From left, Kate Moss, Jennifer Aniston and Lily Allen in Ugg boots


We're in the coldest winter for decades, and the snowlined streets of Britain have been flooded by the ubiquitous Ugg boot.

Over the past month, sales of the celebrity favourite from Down Under have rocketed as women across the country pay a small fortune in the hope of keeping their feet warm and their bodies upright in the treacherous conditions.

The UK importers say they're selling 140 per cent more pairs than at this time last year, while John Lewis estimates that year-on-year sales have doubled in its stores over the past few weeks.

It's hardly surprising that with temperatures plummeting, we're on the lookout for ways to keep warm. And what's warmer than sheepskinlined boots?

After all, sheepskin was what RAF pilots used to wear to stave off frostbite on long missions, so you'd think it would be just as effective when it comes to battling our current sub-zero conditions.

Well, yes and no. While sheepskin might be warm, Uggs were never designed to be worn in snow and ice.

As a result, hordes of us who thought we were doing the sensible thing have found ourselves with a bruised bottom after taking tumbles in our Uggs.

Melissa Nathanson, 32, from West London, is one of the walking wounded. 'I came out of the house and I was slipping all over the place in my Uggs,' she says. 'Then I went flying and crash-landed in the snow. I now have a massive lump underneath my left knee and there is bruising up and down that leg. My arm was also bleeding and I'm still in pain.

'I thought Uggs were supposed to be the perfect thing for the cold weather, but even though the soles are rubber, they have absolutely no grip - they're so dangerous in these conditions.'

Detractors of the boot have long insisted that they are nothing more than a glorified slipper and should never be seen outside the house.

They have a point. While sheepskin may be warm, it's certainly not waterproof.

More irritatingly, when sheepskin gets wet, it conducts heat, or, in this case, cold, as Nicol Davis, 28, from North London, discovered.

'They're just not suitable for this weather, which seems ridiculous because they are usually so warm and cosy,' she says. 'I paid about £140 for a new pair of Uggs for the winter, but after five minutes outside they were sopping wet and haven't been properly dry for days.'

Candice Berger, 34, from London, adds: 'I was walking back from the supermarket and I live on a hill, so I went skidding down the slope in my Uggs and landed on my bottom. The soles get very wet and slippery. They don't have very good traction.'

But, then, they're not meant to. The lightweight sole was not designed to be used for tramping through snow; it was designed for walking on the beaches of Sydney or Los Angeles.


Ugg-sy daisy! Why your trendy boots could send you flying on the ice...


Despite the grooves, the ethylene vinyl acetate (EVA) or foam rubber hardly offers the sort of traction needed on icy pavements.

To be fair, the manufacturer doesn't market its boots as being ideal for polar expeditions - hardly surprising considering this style of boot originated in the warm, dry climate of Australia.

It is said that pilots wore them in World War I before sheepshearers in the Outback appropriated them in the Twenties. But it was in the Sixties and Seventies that sheepskin boots became a practical fashion accessory, adopted by surfers in Australia and on the West coast of America who wanted to keep their toes warm when they came out of the sea.

The boot's most recent reincarnation came courtesy of the Deckers Outdoor Corporation, who acquired the Ugg Australia brand in 1995 and, three years later, embarked on a campaign to position the boot as a high-end, luxury item of footwear.

By sending pairs to celebrities and ensuring that Uggs were stocked only in upmarket shops, they began to create a buzz around the boots that finally came to fruition in 2000 when Oprah Winfrey, who had been sent some, loved them so much that she bought 350 more pairs to give to her staff and included them on the highly influential Oprah's Favourite Things segment of her TV show.

From then on, they became the slouch footwear of choice for celebrities from Kate Moss and Sienna Miller to Kate Winslet and Paris Hilton.

And despite fashionistas constantly predicting their demise, they appear to have an enduring appeal that just won't die.

This week, the British Chiropractic Association, concerned about snow and ice-induced injuries, issued guidelines, saying: 'A waterproof shoe is preferable for outside, one that gives you support (like a walking shoe), has a grippy sole and can be laced supportively around the foot and ankle.'

If you really want the warmth of sheepskin but still want to stay dry and bruise-free, try the lappone boot (around £125) from Italian brand Olang.

It's made from waterrepellent nubuck, with a fleece lining, and has mini-crampons in the sole that you can flip out to walk safely on ice.

OK, so they might not be endorsed by Oprah or Kate Moss, but they're also unlikely to leave you cold, wet, or bruised after a walk to the shops.

source: dailymail

By CLAIRE COLEMAN

Worth the money? Creme de la Mer is an expensive choice at £530 a pot


For years, it's been one of the world's most talked about and sought-after anti-ageing creams.

Women around the world swear by its powers and are happy to splash out £530 for just 250ml of this potent elixir.

In these circles of well-heeled and image-conscious women, Crème de la Mer is more than just a face cream - it's virtually a religion.

It is stocked only in the most exclusive department stores, and these women seem happy to pay whatever it costs in their bid to halt the ageing process.

But what would they say if they knew that the ingredients in their £530 pot of cream cost - as the Daily Mail discovered - no more than £25?

After a month-long investigation into the iconic beauty cream, cosmetic chemist Will Buchanan, who has spent years creating topical treatments for skin and hair, was able to deduce that of the hundreds of thousands of pounds spent each year on the cream, no more than about 5 per cent is accounted for by the ingredients.

Creme de la Mer - the name literally means 'cream of the sea' - have done their best to shroud their product in a veil of mystery. The company's website not only refers to a 'heritage' that is 'inspired by the sea', but also devotes entire sections to what it calls 'The Miracle' and 'The Secret.'

In fact, the cream is actually a very simple and ordinary cosmetic formula. Under European law, every cosmetic and toiletry product must display a full list of ingredients, in descending order of weight.

Using the ingredients listed on a pot of Crème de la Mer, alongside his knowledge of product formulations, Will Buchanan was able to suggest how much of each ingredient was likely to be in a jar. He then sourced prices for all the individual components.

Some of the ingredients, such as petrolatum (the contents of Vaseline), glycerine and eucalyptus leaf oil are widely available from beauty supply websites.

Other chemicals need to be bought in bulk directly from industrial chemical suppliers.

According to Will's calculations, recreating 100ml of a copycat Crème de la Mer cream from readily available ingredients is likely to cost no more than £9.71. A 100ml pot of Crème de la Mer retails for £160.

'This is a variation on a basic water-in-oil formula,' says Will. 'What I've done is, of course, only an estimate. To give the benefit of the doubt, I've been very generous in my pricing of the sea kelp, which is the main ingredient.

'Ultimately, of course, only the manufacturers know exactly what the recipe is, and how much their ingredients cost.'

Nevertheless, it is a startling discovery - especially considering that part of the selling point of the cream is its unique and hallowed origins.


Sought-after: Women around the world swear by the powers of the facial cream (posed by model)


The makers of the 'miracle' cream, Estee Lauder, claim that its formula was discovered in the 1970s by NASA scientist Dr Max Huber.

An aerospace physicist, Huber was badly injured when a routine experiment to develop rocket fuel went wrong, and an explosion left him with severe burns on his hands and face.

Huber then set about developing a product that would improve his scarring.

Over a 12-year period, he conducted thousands of experiments until he managed - according to the Crème de la Mer website - to 'perfect the art of bio-fermentation [a natural chemical process that breaks down a plant, for example, and allows chemists to make more concentrated versions of the active ingredients it contains], blending a mix of sea kelp with an array of vitamins and minerals, oils of citrus, eucalyptus, wheat germ, alfalfa and sunflower.

'Just as Dr Huber hoped,' the website continues, 'skin appeared dramatically smoother and miraculously improved. Even the driest complexions were soothed on contact.'

While these days it is commonplace to add vitamins and minerals to skincare, in the 1970s, Huber's concoction might well have been considered revolutionary. And although he originally developed it for personal use, as word spread, he began to sell it in small quantities.

After Huber's death, Estee Lauder, which owns Creme de la Mer, bought the rights to it from Huber's daughter, and began developing the brand.

However, over recent years, some beauty experts have started to question whether the astronomical price tag is justified.

While other, newer products have proved their efficacy in clinical trials, Crème de la Mer appears to trade more on its reputation than on hard science.

Paula Begoun, a beauty expert who is renowned for her in-depth research of cosmetic products and their ingredients, reviews thousands of products - and she is scathing in her assessment of Crème de la Mer.

'It's just a really dated formula,' she says. 'Something straight out of the Seventies.

'Product formulations have become much more sophisticated since then. Estee Lauder itself has gone on to develop skincare that is far better than Crème de la Mer, and doesn't cost as much.'


Stars' favourite: Julia Carling has a Creme de la Mer facial at Harrods


So just how does Estee Lauder justify the price? Cynics might suggest it's simply marketing trickery. After all, making something 'reassuringly expensive'

automatically confers on it a sense of desirability and exclusivity.

Will Buchanan points out that the cost of a beauty product is about more than just its contents.

'Looking at the raw ingredients doesn't take into account the cost of manufacturing or packaging,' he explains. 'Or the costs of transport, marketing and PR - all of which, of course, you're paying for when you shell out for your skincare.'

The brand's global president, Maureen Case, is at pains to point out that La Mer uses nothing but 'superb quality ingredients, and, in the case of the sea kelp, the cost reflects not only the raw materials but also the costs of helping maintain the ecosystem from which it comes by harvesting sustainably'.

Seaweed and algae are frequently used in cosmetic preparations as they have a high mineral content and are thought to be rich in antioxidants.

They also contain compounds which can have a temporary tightening effect on the skin.

While La Mer uses a special form of Californian sea kelp that is harvested just twice a year when it is at its most nutrient-rich, then shipped on ice to the Estee Lauder labs on the other side of the U.S., suppliers of skincare ingredients sell bio-fermented sea kelp for around £65 a litre.

Maureen Case argues that it is the long and labour-intensive production method that bumps up the price of Crème de la Mer. Indeed, the company make much of the process which, to this day, is true to Huber's original design.

'We are always looking for ways to make things more efficient,' says Maureen Case, 'but there is simply no way to replicate Crème de la Mer by modernising it into a mass-produced item.'

Even apparently hard-nosed scientists, who should know better, seem to imbue a basic chemical process with magical properties when talking about the four-month bio-fermentation method that transforms these unremarkable ingredients into the trademarked 'Miracle Broth'.

Andrew Bevacqua, now vice-president of research and development for the Max Huber Research Labs, was the man tasked with producing Huber's magic potion on a grand scale.

Initial attempts to create the cream produced something similar, but not as effective, so Bevacqua went back to the drawing board. The only part of Huber's process that he'd initially ignored was an aspect inspired by sonochemistry - which looks at how sonic waves affect chemical processes.

Put simply, Huber had recorded the sound of a batch of sea kelp fermenting and used to play this tape to the new batches while they fermented.

The story goes that when Bevacqua reluctantly agreed to try what he called 'hocus pocus', the result was a cream that apparently had three times the potency of his earlier attempts.

Bevacqua also continued Huber's tradition of 'seeding' - putting a tiny amount of the existing batch into each successive batch, ensuring that every pot contains an infinitesimal fraction of the original.


source: dailymail

By Ross Bonander
Stress Management Specialist

This article is sponsored in part by Gillette (What's this?)

In an episode of Friends, Monica arranges for an engagement photo to be taken of her and Chandler, but the session is a disaster. Chandler can only manage to look like he’s facing a mirror searching for food between his teeth. “I don’t know what it is,” he snaps. “I just can’t take a good picture.”

Join the club. Lots of guys can’t stand photos of themselves, but socially we’re not allowed the same measure of public vanity as women, so we bitch about it less. That doesn’t mean we wouldn’t mind taking a good shot now and again, one to represent us proudly on social-networking sites or holiday cards. For that, we offer the following four steps on how to look good in photos.

Before we get started, however, let’s be straight about one thing: expectations. Make sure yours are reasonable. Your goal should be to try project your best appearance, whatever that might be. If you think you can make a few tweaks to your behavior prior to the camera’s click and come out looking like George Clooney, you’re headed for a little heartbreak.

That being said, here are some tips on how to look good in photos

Know your best smile
In that same Friends episode, during the photo shoot, Chandler is trying to contort his mouth into a presentable grin, causing Monica to shout, “What is wrong with your face?” What’s wrong is that he is trying to smile with his mouth; if he can manage this, he seems to think, the agreeable photo will follow.

While almost every smile starts at the mouth, a genuine smile will cause a ripple across the face until the eyes convey our feelings to the lens. If you’re in a bad mood and have no reason to laugh or smile, when someone points a lens your way, your smile won’t resonate beyond your mouth. If other people in the picture are genuinely smiling, prepare for your frozen-faced grin to be immortalized.

So, to look good in photos, look through previous pictures of yourself and determine what smile works best. Try to remember the context, and learn how to mimic the smile so you can bust it out every time a camera appears. You don’t like the exposed gums? Do a three-quarter smile. You like the one where you’re laughing, oblivious to the camera? For the next picture, find a reason to laugh. It's about embracing your smile and embracing positivity.

Get out of direct light
Evidently, you think you have some flaws best kept out of pictures -- otherwise you wouldn’t loathe getting your picture taken. This step to look good in photos involves ensuring that you’re not the victim of any harsh, direct light. If you think your forehead is too big now, wait until direct light gets a hold of it. The glare back to the lens will most certainly do you no favors.

Direct light, especially from the sun, will likely force you into features and positions you can do without. It might make you squint, and while we guys do a lot of squinting for many different reasons, doing so in pictures swallows up your smile, virtually eliminating the chance for a grin you can live with. Light might also force you to dip your head, causing you to give birth to a second chin.

Dodging that direct light may just be a matter of shifting a couple steps one way or the other -- positioning yourself so that neither glare, nor squint, nor double-chin action sabotages another photo.

Don't look straight at the camera
For some photogenic people, the camera alone is like the Playboy airbrush, magically retouching their features to emphasize the good and bury the bad. Other photogenic people, however, have learned how to manipulate the action of having their photo taken just enough so that they only give the appearance of being chronically photogenic. Some look slightly above the lens, while for others the trick is just as simple: only give up your good side.

If heads and faces were symmetrical, this phenomenon wouldn’t exist, but perfect symmetry tends not to appear that way in nature. Maybe your hairline recedes more on one side than the other; maybe your big nose is grand from one angle, but vulgar from another.

Keep in mind that even though this is your face, your facial hair and your head, you may not be the most qualified person to determine your own best side. Come to your own conclusion first, then ask some female friends the same thing.

Close then open your eyes
Finally, after determining your most handsome grin, ditching the direct light and making sure you’re only giving the lens a sidelong glance, employ an old trick: Right before the camera clicks, blink. Not only do you avoid getting caught in a blink, but you also dodge getting caught with your eyelids sagging like you’re beat.

In short, the blink encourages your eyes to be alert and communicative when the camera snaps the picture.

picture perfect
There are only a few humans who are gifted with naturally photogenic faces, and even among them, most are women. That said, a photo album full of pics to be proud of is within the grasp of every man. Simply embrace the tips above and your newly found confidence will be immortalized forever.


source: askmen

By Lara Sargent

Glowing gifts: Candle holders and crystal tealights, from £12, BHS, 0845 196 0000 or bhs.co.uk


Even though it is only a week until the big day, you don't need to panic - with late-night openings and online shopping, there's still time to splurge on last-minute pressies.

If you're struggling for ideas, buying something pretty, witty or downright practical for the home is always welcome. And with this year's credit crunch still in full throttle, interiors gifts can be cheap, cheerful and long-lasting - in fact, all our suggestions here are £50 or under.

'We've been pleasantly surprised by how robust the sales of interiors products have remained,' says Craig Price of The Contemporary Home. 'If anything, it's up on last Christmas.'

There's a huge choice of home-inspired presents, catering for all tastes and all budgets. For cooks and foodies, seek out vintage floral mugs and cake stands from Cath Kidston, frilly aprons and retro teapots from The Contemporary Home and almost anything from Jamie Oliver's Jme collection (jamieoliver.com).

For the green-fingered, try pretty gardening gloves, herb pots, trugs, tins of twine, lanterns and birdhouses from the likes of Cox & Cox, John Lewis and Lakeland.

With craft-inspired goodies, you'll hit the make-do-and-mend spirit. Why not buy your nearest and dearest a gorgeous sewing basket, knitting kit or DIY photobook?

'There's an obvious shift towards buying gifts and decorations that have a purpose and are reusable,' adds Price at TCH. 'Things such as cutlery, aprons, watches and wooden nativity sets are all selling extremely well.'

Of course, presents shouldn't be too worthy or practical. Think girlie, satin and sequined cushions for the boudoir, beautiful antique perfume decanters and fluffy hot water bottles.

For me, it has to be a Diptyque Tuberose candle from Cologne & Cotton (£35 and worth every penny).


source: dailymail

By Robert Hardman

Upmarket: Wycombe Square in Kensington, where the average house costs £5.4million


One or two lights are on, but there are no signs of life. There is barely a Christmas decoration to be seen anywhere. I buzz a few shiny intercoms and knock on a few doors. Just one of them opens and a Filipino maid appears. I ask if the owner is in and her jaw drops. I might as well be sprouting two heads or standing stark naked on her doorstep.

'They on holiday!' she says, incredulous at the stupidity of my question, and shuts the door.

It's hardly surprising, I suppose. I am wandering around Wycombe Square in London's Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea for the simple reason that it has just been declared the most expensive address in the land.

I am keen to find out what makes it so desirable. But I dare say that the sort of people who live in a road where the average property costs £5.4million are rich enough to afford a bit of sun at this time of year.

Indeed, since most of them are from overseas and have homes all over the world, who can blame them for avoiding this Arctic downpour? So, this is not just the richest street in Britain, it is also the most deserted. As I walk on, though, I soon discover I am not alone.

'Can I help you?' asks a disembodied voice. I can't see anyone, but it's coming from Number 4.

'Step closer to the door,' says the voice, and I approach the intercom. 'Can I help you?' the male voice asks again.

I explain that I want to talk to a resident about life in the country's most sought-after location.

'Take the next turning, please. I am at the security desk,' says the voice.

Although I am on a public highway, my every move is being monitored by a guard called Jamal, who is part of Wycombe Square's resident private security team. Round here, he explains politely, one does not go around knocking on doors. One makes an appointment to see someone.

Since none of the residents is at home, then there is no one to approach for an appointment. In any case, people round here don't use their front doors like the rest of us.

Wycombe Square, overlooking the prime Notting Hill/Holland Park banker belt, is a neo-Georgian development less than ten years old. I have already noticed that there are no vehicles to be seen.


All mod-cons: A house on Withinlee Road, Prestbury, where the average home costs £1.2 million


It turns out that residents can drive into an underground car park and enter their houses from their own private loading bays, coming and going away from the gaze of the public and even their neighbours, without even the bother of opening a front door. It is perfect for the reclusive, the nervous and the secretive.

So, I dare say that some residents will be less than thrilled to see their homes propelled into the spotlight this week. It is all thanks to the number crunchers at Halifax, the state supported bank, who have totted up all Land Registry transactions between 2005 and September 2009 to produce a comprehensive street-by-street survey of the most sizzling property hotspots across England and Wales.

Published this week, it shows that even if you take an entire region, you will find that the most expensive addresses tend to be clustered close to each other.

Seven of London's top ten streets are in the same borough (Kensington and Chelsea), eight of the ten priciest roads in the South-East are in Surrey and half of the most sought-after roads in the whole of East Anglia are to be found in one chi-chi area of Cambridge - CB2.

But what of the North/South divide?

While Wycombe Square is the winner down South (and overall in Britain), the most expensive street in the North is Withinlee Road in Prestbury, near Macclesfield. The average house there, says the Halifax, costs £1.2m.

So I decide to compare these North/South wealth hotspots - are the super-rich of Prestbury any different to the elusive Kensingtonians?


Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen live up the track from Withinlee Road


The main contrast is evident as soon as I arrive: Withinlee Road turns out to contain real people who not only live in it, but are happy to talk about it. A bumpy lane on the edge of this pretty Cheshire village, Withinlee Road is quasi-suburban at one end and thoroughly rural at the other, with glorious farmland views stretching across to the snow-capped Peak District.

And the Halifax survey seems to have seriously undervalued it. There isn't much available on the market here for less than £3million.

The average price on the survey is lower because the main trade here over the past five years has been in dreary Fifties and Sixties houses on prime plots. These have gone for £1.5 million to buyers who have knocked down the house and then spent double that sum building a new mansion-style residence with all the gadgets.

Typical of the genre is the new home of England cricketer Andrew Flintoff, who bought a £1.85million house two years ago from former football manager Mark Hughes, and promptly knocked it down. He has just spent £2million on a Surrey stockbroker-style replacement, which is nearing completion with a gym and indoor pool.

And herein lies a very interesting similarity with Wycombe Square 200 miles to the south. The most expensive properties in the most expensive roads, both North and South, are new ones.

The popular perception of grand housing is usually an Elizabethan manor in the Cotswolds or a swanky stucco-fronted Georgian town house.


The reality is that today's biggest spenders want modern rather than ancient. They want air-conditioning and running machines, not pedigree and ghosts.

I have seen few interiors as modern as Withinlee Road resident Gary Chew's seven-bedroom, oak-walled mansion, with pool, gym, cinema, 360-degree security cameras and TVs that look like mirrors.

When not running his nationwide fitting and joinery business, Gary, 47, has been building this house (all 13,000 square ft of it) for five years while living up the road in a rented house once occupied by a certain Eric Cantona during his days at Manchester United.

'I wanted an arts and crafts style house that looked as if it had been here for 100 years, not something that looks like a leisure centre,' he says.

It may be a while before it blends in completely. The landscape designers are still installing the lawns and the bridges that will span the artificial stream running through the garden, but the house warming party is days away.

Gary says that this will be his house for life. 'I've already had offers, but this will never be for sale,' he says proudly.

Some of the locals have been upset by sneering comments in the media suggesting that Withinlee Road is all bling, Premiership strikers, vulgarity and gold taps.

Some of the homes are centuries-old. The opulent new 'statement' homes, however, remind me not of Footballers' Wives, but of Sandbanks, the stratospherically pricey Poole Harbour peninsula.

There, as here, it's a case of tearing down a lot of tired Fifties and Sixties houses on great spots and building the biggest and boldest home you can get away with. One resident, a successful local businessman who would rather not be identified, invites me into his substantial new Edwardian manor-style home to assure me that this is a family-friendly area where residents do talk to each other and try to put something back into the community.

'We're just ordinary people,' he insists. 'I think I've seen only one footballer in 17 years.'

The soccer lot, it seems, tend not to mix with the locals. Another resident driving past sees my notebook and winds down his window.

'Journalists keep calling this "Footballers' Alley", but there isn't a single footballer in this road,' says John Barker, whose car is crammed to the roof with hay for a horse.

This is true, though I do find five Premiership mansions within a one mile radius.

Three top footballers, including Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney, are next to each other up the same small track nearby. They are so close they must for ever be buzzing each other's electric gate intercom systems asking if they can have their ball back.

To cap it all, two doors down from Rooney is Noddy Holder, wild front man of the Seventies band Slade ('So here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun . . .').

I can't imagine that Prestbury is ever short of a celebrity to open the local fete. The village centre is picture postcard stuff with a pretty Post Office, a Norman chapel and a set of stocks next to an old red phone box.

Even the NatWest bank is a little halftimbered gem. Just round the corner I find the village garage - a Jaguar dealership, of course.

Edward Naden, of local estate agent Holmes-Naden, has lived round here all his life and says Prestbury has always attracted money, old and new (the footballers have been a recent arrival on the back of soaring soccer salaries and the fact the Beckhams liked the area).

Edward says Withinlee Road is likely to rise further still.

'It used to be a pretty road with relatively poor housing, but the difference now is that it's getting big new houses on it.'

He shows me the brochure for an almost-finished five-bedroom/pool/ gym property called Chart House, which looks Surrey-esque on the outside and super yacht within.

Laura Ashley fans need not apply. The interior designers have gone for a black and white look with a lot of ash woodwork wrapped in cream leather. It will hit the market next month with a £3.75 million price tag - double the 'average' price in Withinlee Road.

Back in London, it is the same story in Wycombe Square, where agents Knight Frank are selling a six-bedroom house on the cheap side of the square for double the so-called average at £10.35 million (houses command an extra million on the opposite side where each house has its own pool and a separate staff cottage).

'You can lock it and leave it knowing it is utterly secure,' says Knight Frank's Tom Tangney. 'And that is a big plus for international high net-worth individuals.'

No doubt it is. But wandering around this spotless, sterile plutozone, I can't help thinking that the North has the edge over the South in at least one respect.

Love them or not, it's quite nice to see the odd neighbour from time to time, however rich you may be.


source: dailymail

By Fiona Gibson

Don't hit the bottle: There's something about a mother in law's arrival that has us madly rummaging for the corkscrew. Yet if relations are strained, alcohol can exacerbate tensions


Mother-in-law has arrived for Christmas. Your hackles are up - and she hasn't even done anything yet. However, you know it's only a matter of time before she's muscling into the kitchen, wincing at your carrot-chopping technique and shuddering as you make bread sauce from a packet.

'The kind of work we do, it's just never done, is it?' remarked my friend Sophie's mother-in-law last Christmas as she watched her peel a mountain of spuds.

Sophie was confused. She runs the language faculty at a comprehensive school. As far as she is aware, her mother-in-law doesn't have a career.

'She refuses to acknowledge that I have a paid job, let alone one that I trained hard to do. It's another way of undermining me,' says Sophie.

If that sounds horribly familiar, you are not alone. When I ask women in their 30s and 40s - all of whom are juggling families and careers - everyone has a horror story about entertaining their mother-in-law over the festive season.

There's the one who barked 'Some people don't bother having their children christened these days' over Christmas dinner - triggering her grandchild to cry: 'Why haven't I been christened? Does it mean I won't go to heaven when I die?' Cue hot tears and the festive atmosphere killed stone dead.

Another friend tells me that when her mother-in-law came to stay last Christmas, she turned off the heater in the guest bedroom and proceeded to spend the night 'freezing to death'.

Naturally, she developed a terrible cold that dragged on until Easter, and it was all her daughter-in-law's fault 'for putting me in that cold, damp room', implying she'd been trying to kill her off.

'Having anyone to stay at Christmas is stressful,' says psychologist Dr Terri Apter, author of What Do You Want From Me? (Norton, £18.99), which explores the complexities of in-law relationships. 'You have put a huge amount of work into getting things ready and expect to be rewarded by others' pleasure in what you've done.'

Yet all too often, your mother-in-law not only fails to appreciate your efforts, but criticises. My neighbour is still annoyed by the fact that her mother-inlaw once scraped an entire meal off her plate, complaining: 'You always give me far too much to eat.'

Instead of hitting the sherry, bear in mind that your mother-in-law probably finds the festive get-together as challenging as you do.

'Your partner's mother was once his main carer, influence and provider of love,' says Tina Lamb, senior partner at Impact Factory, which specialises in personal development. 'She has been replaced by you.

'Like it or not, many women feel as if they are in competition with their daughters-in-law and find it difficult to let go.'

It doesn't make her visit easier, but it helps explain the barbed comments.

Here are ten smart ways to avoid mother-in-law meltdown this Christmas.


1 CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES

Weigh up what it would cost you to agree that, yes, of course the bacon should be placed that way on the turkey, rather than your way,' says Tina Lamb.

'You might flatter her by saying: "What a great idea. I hadn't thought of that."

'You should not be a pushover - she should never dictate what you wear or who you invite to your house. But nor is it worth fighting over which way the onions should be chopped.'


2 DON'T HIT THE BOTTLE

There's something about a mother in law's arrival that has us madly rummaging for the corkscrew. Yet if relations are strained, alcohol can exacerbate tensions.

'Judgment is impaired and we become more reactive when we are under the influence,' says Neil Shah, director of the Stress Management Society.

'We know alcohol is part of Christmas, but balance it by taking plenty of water on board. Coffee is another stimulant that can make you edgy.'

Deep breathing, perhaps in a darkened room, may help you to avoid blowing up, pressure-cooker style. And never underestimate the restorative effect of retiring to the bathroom for 15 minutes with the door locked.


3 PLAN THE DAY

You might want to kick back and relax. However, the key to cordial relations is to plan the big day.

'Make sure there's structure by factoring in games that will appeal across all age groups,' says Neil Shah.

'A walk may sound old-fashioned, but it's a great refresher when everyone has been sitting in close proximity, watching yet another re-run of The Great Escape.'

Getting out of the house also offers an opportunity to chat to and bond with your mother-in-law. Often, conversation flows more naturally than when you are crammed together on the sofa in an over-heated living room.

4 GET YOUR PARTNER TO HELP
After all, he's known her all his life. 'Ask him how you might make her visit run more smoothly,' says Tina.

'For instance, would she appreciate coming earlier, before everyone else arrives? Might she enjoy being given a chore so she feels included and useful?'

A friend complains that her mother-inlaw always demands a duster and starts wiping down the piano, 'implying that we live in filth'.

'If yours starts cleaning immediately, then ask her to do something that will actually help you,' says Tina. 'It may still annoy you, but at least it will lessen your workload.'

Remember, too, that the more comfortable she feels, the more likely she is to be on best behaviour. We tend to show our worst sides when we feel ignored or threatened.

5 DON'T ASK HIM TO TAKE SIDES

Dr Apter's research suggests that a man often sides with his mother because he perceives that she is weaker than his partner and therefore needs his support more than you do.

Maddening, yes - but it explains why he won't agree that she's an interfering old bat. He just wants to keep the peace, especially at Christmas. If his mother is causing strife, broach it with him after the holidays so you can devise a future strategy together.


6 LET HER HAVE OPINIONS

You might not agree with her views, but she is still entitled to them.

'Try to de-personalise what she says,' suggests Gladeana McMahon, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. 'Rather than taking everything as a personal slight, assume it's just a comment.'

She also recommends talking openly, adult to adult: 'Don't feel you should automatically agree on everything. You are aiming for a healthy, grown-up relationship, so try to communicate as you would with any other woman, always addressing her in a respectful way.'

If she still irks you - such as commenting that your skirt is awfully short - try McMahon's three-pronged approach: 'Show her that you've heard by acknowledging the comment. Say what you think, then move swiftly on.'

So you might say: 'I know, it's a bit mini for me, but I couldn't resist it. Anyway, I fancied being a bit daring today.'

Finish with a broad smile and try to avoid adding: 'By the way, your cardie is the exact colour of bile.' Naturally, your mother-in-law's dress sense is always impeccable.


Try not to read hidden messages into your gift. If she gives you an oven glove, it doesn't mean that she thinks your entire raison d'etre is to sweat over a hot stove


7 WORK THE ROOM (ONE SHE'S NOT IN)

Two-thirds of British women admit they resent their mother-in-law DESPITE gargantuan efforts, you may find it impossible to maintain a sunny demeanour around his mother. 'Irritation is one of the most difficult responses to control,' says Dr Apter.

'However, being annoyed doesn't mean you have a right to be rude. In fact, you'll feel even worse if you are. The best tactic is to limit close contact with her. Talk to someone else or go to another room.'

8 DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO HER PRESENTS
Sensitive area, this one. Last Christmas, a friend raged that her mother-in-law had not only given her an XXL dressing down, but had been put out that it didn't fit (my friend is a size eight).

My friend was seething and couldn't accept that her mother-in-law might simply have made a mistake.

Try not to read hidden messages into your gift. For instance, if she gives you an oven glove, it doesn't mean that she thinks your entire raison d'etre is to sweat over a hot stove. It simply means she's bought you an oven glove. So don't throw a tantrum about it.


9 BE KIND AND GRACIOUS (THROUGH GRITTED TEETH)
A DIFFICULT mother-in-law is rather like a challenging child who derives pleasure from annoying you. 'Don't give her the satisfaction of rising to the bait, thus confirming her belief that you are the difficult one,' says Tina. 'Be polite and gracious, no matter how angry you feel.'


10 REMEMBER THAT SHE'LL GO HOME EVENTUALLY
Once she's gone, you'll be able to take off that halo and laugh about her foibles. That's when the fun really starts.


source: dailymail